Cruel Summer (A dissection of 500 Days of Summer)

Oh, I'm not going to make any friends with this one. 500 Days of Summer, or Open-Brackets-500-Closed-Brackets Days of Summer to use its proper title, is something of a sacred cow amongst teenagers and young adults. It's been praised by everyone and their dog and their dog's bone for being original, engaging, witty, and having two breakout performances from Joseph-Gordon Levitt and Zooey Deschanel, who have since become big names (the former appearing in two Christopher Nolan films, and the latter getting her own primetime sitcom New Girl). It is, in short, something everybody in the known universe loves and adores.

And yet, somehow, I don't.

"This is not a love story because look guys, they're not actually kissing! This is totes original!"

Don't get me wrong, OB500CBDOS isn't necessarily a bad film. On the contrary, it's very well-made. It's well-shot, has a well-selected soundtrack, Levitt and Deschanel do well with the roles they're given, and this film can boast probably the best Han Solo cameo in history. There's an excellent scene near the end that uses split-screen to depict what a character thinks will happen, and what will actually happen; again, very well done.

You'll notice I'm using "well" as an adjective a lot in that paragraph, and that's because OB500CBDOS (hey, the filmmakers decided to put their title partially in brackets for no reason, I have every right to be a dick about that) is just...well. When you ask someone how they've been, they'll go "I'm well, thank you", meaning they're just alright, nothing special. It's a handsomely put together film, it's in high spirits, ergo it's well. But that's really all I can say in its favour; the professionalism of it is its most notable feature. You could make the case there's something almost too perfect about how it's set up, right down to the soundtrack having a song from every time period of pop music to appeal to everyone, but I'll leave that to more capable hands than mine.

There are all other problems I could lay at the film's door like jury duty notices - the tweeness of Levitt's Tom having one of those "mature-beyond-her-years" little sisters that are ten-a-penny in offbeat indie comedies, the fact that arranged chronologically the plot is pretty simplistic, the confusing parody of The Seventh Seal which goes nowhere, and the fact that if you've seen Annie Hall and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind you can probably guess what's happening - but those aren't my biggest problems with Days.

My problem is the character of Summer Finn.

...I think I may have made her mad.

I'll admit up front that I'm not a big fan of Zooey Deschanel. I'm sure she's a lovely person, and she's pretty attractive, but I've never been in love with her like so many other people seem to be. Like Days, there's something almost too perfect about her; she plays the ukelele, she's learning circus tricks, she's named after a goddamn J.D. Salinger novel...it's like she's programmed to be the perfect adorable oddball hipster goddess. That said, her performance isn't bad, she does all she can with Summer. The problem is that Summer is not a very strong character. Even calling her a "character" feels a bit generous, she's basically an object.

There's a relatively new trope in fiction called the "Manic Pixie Dream Girl". Coined by Nathan Rabin of The A.V. Club in his review of Elizabethtown, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl is a stunningly attractive, upbeat, "quirky" stock character/plot device (take your pick) who exists solely to teach the soulful brooding main character to stop living such an emotionless cynical life and start having fun. Note that the MPDG need not necessarily be female; what defines an MPDG is the fact they only exist solely for the main character's development, and get none of their own. See also: Natalie Portman in Garden State, Kirsten Dunst in Elizabethtown, and Leonardo DiCaprio in Titanic.

This almost certainly applies to Summer, who doesn't have a personality, just quirks. Quirks are there to add a bit of spice to a personality; Jayne Cobb's ridiculous hat in Firefly, Dale Cooper's love of black coffee and cherry pie in Twin Peaks, David's admiration of Peter O'Toole in Prometheus - they add to an existing base, like a spot of cinnamon on a cake. Summer is almost entirely made of quirks - her favourite Beatle is Ringo because he's nobody's favourite Beatle, she used a Belle & Sebastian lyric as a yearbook quote, she shouts "PENIS!" in public parks for no reason because zanyyyyyyy - which is sort of like having a character but not really, and is like making a cake entirely of cinnamon. And as everyone who's done the Cinnamon Challenge can tell you, that's not very tasty.

Outside of that, note how in the film Tom only gets back into his dream of being an architect after Summer encourages him to do so. I bring this up because I don't recall ever learning anything about Summer's goals and aspirations, nor do we learn anything about her inner life, her emotions, why she never wants a serious relationship. She's simply a prop that Tom uses to make himself feel better. You could argue, like the director, that this MPDG-ness is intentional; Tom's often considered an unreliable narrator, considering he sees The Graduate as a story of love conquering all, and the film may be from his perspective. Summer's deliberately one-dimensional, because that's how Tom sees her.

There's weight to that argument, but my counterargument would be "Why don't we get to see Summer's side of the story? Wouldn't seeing her emotions and her troubles make for a more balanced story? You'd also get dramatic irony as we would see things Tom wouldn't. Summer clearly has problems with romance and is a troubled individual, so why can't we see that? Why do we have to see things from Tom's eyes? I don't like Tom - he's selfish, childish, and has his own ideas of relationships that he forces onto someone without actually, y'know, talking about it with her. Is he really that much of a twat that he won't ask why she has problems with relationships?"

Indeed, there's a real undercurrent of sexism going on in Days. The eureka moment that causes Tom to fall in love with Summer because she listens to the Smiths. Not a bad starting point for a potential relationship, but the Smiths are not some obscure band few people have heard of, girls who like the Smiths aren't hard to come by, and he puts her on a pedestal over something cosmetic. If Summer had instead given him a slice of homemade chocolate cake, and he decided to pursue her romantically over that, you couldn't even hear the dialogue for all the claims of sexism. Same principle here.

The film opens with the delightful caption: "The following is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. Especially you Jenny Beckman. Bitch." Giving the writer the benefit of the doubt that his ex wasn't named Jenny Beckman, this is still a mean, spiteful way of opening your quirky little romantic drama-comedy.

Furthermore, for all the claims that Tom is an unreliable narrator, sympathies are still with him. He never asks Summer why she doesn't want to be his girlfriend, he just assumes she will be. Summer is seen by him as the miracle cure to his life when they're together, and as a heartless bitch when they're not. This is a classic example of the "Nice Guy" complex: a guy acts kind and gentle and sweet to a woman in the hopes of romantic conquest, then angrily rails against her when she turns him down, bitching and moaning about how "WOMEN NEVER WANT NICE GUYS" like a total fucking tool.

The Nice Guy attitude is one called out time and time again, and rightfully so. But we're still expected to like Tom, because he's "cute" and "sweet" and doesn't really know how love works, and we never really know anything about Summer. In case we were left in any doubt, the film ends with the revelation that Summer - who says time and time again that she doesn't want anything serious - has gotten married to someone else, meaning she's a hypocrite. Or, more likely, she's found someone who actually treats her like a human being and not a magical fairy who will wave her wand and make your life better just like that. Worse, the last minute shows Tom hitting it off with a girl named Autumn over something they both like, with the implication that this whole song and dance will happen all over again, and Tom has learnt nothing from his relationship with Summer, because he's a moron.

When I first saw (500) Days of Summer, I really liked it, although looking back, I can't remember why. I guess I was disarmed by how charming the two main actors were, even if their characters are either idiots or complete cyphers, and the Han Solo cameo. I don't hate this film - with very rare exceptions, usually Adam Sandler-related, I never hate a film - but it's really frustrating. There's real story potential for a romantic drama about a guy who idealises love so much, he doesn't actually know who he's in love with, but the writers missed a real trick by not letting us see Summer's side. At the end of the day, all (500) Days of Summer is, is something very charming and well-made but ultimately hollow and spiteful, a cinematic sociopath.

"The thing about Manic Pixie Dream Girls...they've got soulless eyes. Wide eyes. Like a doll's eyes."

On bookmarks, favourites, and ports of call on the Internet

...Huh. It's been a while.

Haven't used this for film reviews for a few reasons: Most of them have gone to Splendid Fred, an online magazine run by students and staff of Winchester. The ones currently up are a re-edit of my Prometheus review, a look at Rock of Ages (long story short, it sucks), and a look at The Fall, a lesser-known little gem. Furthermore, there's just not a lot of films to write about. I could review The Dark Knight Rises, but at this stage it would feel like cheerleading, and I feel the need to sit down and rewatch it a few times before reviewing. The Man Who Fell to Earth was, and still is, on the agenda, but until I can sort out a few problems with my TV, that's on the backburner.

So there I am, browsing the web, feeling the need to dust off the cobwebs, when I notice this little blog post by a friend of mine. Then another one, talking about how much you can tell about a person based on their bookmarks. Might as well join in, and at least turn the bookmark bar tag into a thing.

1) That Guy With the Glasses.

The advent of YouTube has given rise to Internet reviewers, people who set up a camera and talk/rant about whatever little corner of pop culture they specialise in - anime, video games, music, film, and cartoons. A few years ago, Doug Walker came in playing the Nostalgia Critic, a cynical manchild with emotional problems who reviews (i.e. rants) cartoons and films from the 80s, 90s and early 2000s. From there, he blossomed into an Internet celebrity, forming his own website where fellow nerds can wax lyrical about their specialist subject.

Said subjects are very diverse - along with the usual rigmarole of video games and anime (which is most of what the Internet talks about anyway), we have comic books, pop music, arthouse films, direct-to-video films, exploitation flicks, rap music...chances are there's something on the menu for you.

If you want personal picks, Todd in the Shadows is always a winner, as is Brows Held High if you feel like broadening your horizons some. The site is also in the middle of their third feature length web film (yes, THIRD) To Boldly Flee; earlier efforts, Kickassia and Suburban Knights, are well worth your time.

2) Topless Robot.

This is better than you think it sounds, honest. I'm a disciple of Cracked and Something Awful, so my sense of humour veers toward the dry and scathing, and as nerd blogs go, they don't come much more dry and scathing than Rob Bricken's offering. Covering nerdy interests like action figures, anime, TV shows, video games, films and anything that caters to a geeky palette, Topless Robot has gained popularity through its contests for free T-shirts that yield hilarious results...and Fan Fiction Friday, where Rob reads a horrible pornographic fan fiction and mocks it, because if he has to hurt, we all hurt too.

All joking aside, I always come here because it's a damn good laugh, and if you've been on the Internet enough to actually read fan fiction, it's always welcome to watch Rob take vengeance on it.

3) The A.V. Club.

An offshoot of satirical newspaper The Onion, The A.V. Club went from merely being the entertainment arm to its own beast; still connected to The Onion, but with its own identity. Reviewing pop culture esoterica, The A.V. Club isn't satirical, but its reviews are witty, intelligent and thoughtful, often containing extensive essays on certain films or albums. Nathan Rabin's My Year of Flops column, later resurrected as My World of Flops, is a thing of beauty, particularly when he finds a lesser-know gem, and gives it much needed care and attention.

Really, what separates The A.V. Club from most, if not all, of the websites I visit is the fact that the comment section is probably one of the best on the Internet, and not just because the comments don't make me want to slash my wrists. Fans of dark and sarcastic humour, you've found a new home, or at least one that doesn't require you to pay a fee like Something Awful or is full of child porn (*coughRedditcough*). A.V. members are sharp-tongued, bitingly sarky, and wildly enthusiastic; what other community will quote classic Simpsons episodes at every passing opportunity?

Can't think of one? Then you should visit The A.V. Club.

4) Tumblr.

I have no idea why this is still on here. I joined Tumblr a while ago and gave it a shot, but I got bored and annoyed with it within a few months. Don't get me wrong, there are parts of it I liked - you do get really cool people on there, like Wil Wheaton, Kieron Gillen, Bryan Lee O'Malley and Trolling Chris Brown (because seriously, fuck Chris Brown). But those were few and far between, and I got really tired of every ten seconds of a show being turned into GIFs, the endless circlejerks in communities ("You're pretty!" "Aw shucks, no I'm not!", etc. etc.), and - the final straw - the amount of special little snowflakes infesting it.

You know the ones I mean. If you follow Tumblr dot TXT on Twitter (and if you don't, frankly, why the hell not?), there are countless displays of self-serious idiocy that get featured on there. You can't make a joke out there without someone going "Um, actually, I'm a bisexual white female otherkin who believes they're really a cat, and what you're saying is really offensive but then you're a cisgendered male how could you possibly understand and I'm going to spend 1500 words explaining why you're wrong and include the words 'male privilege' or 'cis privilege' somewhere and" FUCKING ENOUGH.

These are the sort of people who don't like it when you say 'idiot' because "DAT'S ABLEIST LANGWICH!", and I have no time for these special little snowflakes who think there's always something unique and special about them, and are utterly unable to take a joke. If you've found a community you identify with, that's cool, that's the beauty of the Internet. But for God's sake, have a sense of humour.

...Damn, that felt good.

5) Netflix.

I'd imagine most people probably have Netflix already through Facebook and its free trial for a month. For those who don't, Netflix is a subscription service that lets you stream films and TV shows on your computer for a small monthly fee. When it first launched in the UK and Ireland, the selection was decent, but still lacking; as more and more people sign up to it, though, it grows wider, and now you have stuff like Drive, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, O Brother Where Art Thou?, Pulp Fiction, Firefly, Misfits and countless others.

Guilty as I am saying this, I do watch stuff online that I'm not technically supposed to, but I justify this by the shows/films not being available anywhere legally/trying before I buy. Those are my excuses, I'm sticking to them, and Netflix certainly saves me the hassle of Googling for sites to stream movies on that a) don't require a plug-in and b) won't fuck up my laptop with some exotic new Trojan virus. There's a very good roster of films and TV, and the more people use it, the more stuff becomes available, meaning more people use it, and so on and so forth in a happy circle of business.

There's a reason more people use iTunes and Spotify nowdays than pirating music, although not to begrudge anyone who does; it's simply good business to have what we want on demand. Netflix is the first step on the film front, and as a film geek, I welcome that.

Aaaaand that's about all you're getting. There are a lot of bookmarks, and to go into all of them with the amount of detail I have with these is getting into overkill territory. Besides, this probably paints a better picture of me as a user. My fellow bloggers, what do you have bookmarked?

The bookmark tag will be a thing, whether you like it or not. Credit to Abby Harris for the idea.